Next Time I Fall In Love

Next time I fall in love, I will never let myself believe too much lies again. Those lies which captivated me at first that I felt like floating on a cloud nine when I heard them from you, making me believe how much you love and treasure me. Next thing I knew, everything turned out the other way around.

Next time I fall in love, I will never let my hopes get too high again. Those high hopes which I was thinking I’d be happy with my life, but they were the unspeakable pain I have ever felt. Thinking happy thoughts and dreams with full high hopes was the greatest mistake I made. Because all of those are just crap.

Next time I fall in love, I will never let my heart take over with me again. Sure, I should consider what my heart feels but it was just a huge mistake ignoring what my brain told me. Because I thought I’d be so much happier if I let my heart win. But it turned out, you are my most painful heartache.

Next time I fall in love, I will never let myself get what I don’t deserve. Did you even know?  Because I loved you, I didn’t mind at all what you were doing for me in return. You didn’t have the guts to surprise me with a dinner date yet I still managed to cook dinner for you. But what hurts the most is that I still loved you even with your imperfections. That’s how perfect you were for me.. before.

Next time I fall in love, I will never let myself be taken for granted again. I will know and matter my worth more than the love.

Next time I fall in love, I will never let myself give too much again. Giving it all to you was something I had done because that’s how much you mattered to me. But in return, all I felt was nothingness. This time, I will make sure to spare myself the love I give. As they say, love yourself first.

Next time I fall in love, I will never let myself feel this kind of pain again. I will take every step slowly now. I will be more cautious. I will not let my emotional feelings get over me. What you made me experience is enough reason for me to be smarter this time around.  

But you know what? Next time I fall in love, I’d still wish you are the guy I am going to fall in love with. 

P.S.: Another article again. Forgive my emotional feelings and being so damn dramatic.