In the heart of a basketball player fan

I don't know and I haven't realized much that I am being so "supportive" or I am in that state of "fangirling" too much until my friends told me so. And even those peeps who just know me by Twitter or Facebook already call me, "Mrs. Ravena", "Girlfriend ni Kiefer" etc. That's when I really realized that maybe, I am being way too supportive.

But let me tell you this, I didn't even get bothered about it. Or maybe, on the other side, I was happy and proud that they see my "fangirling" mode that way. Again, there's nothing to be ashamed of. I guess as you read this part, you probably feel this is just another post about Kiefer Ravena. But nope. I will make sure I will write in general. In the heart of a basketball player fan.

Before I start, let me introduce myself as a 15 year old girl who obviously hasn't gotten herself a job yet. So it is pretty much hard to watch basketball games live as you will still have problems about money (and the reason behind watching a basketball game though you're a girl) and the problem of watching it live at Araneta or MOA Arena. I do not live in Metro Manila, first and foremost, that's why I need to get everything planned if I really wanna watch a game live.

Now that's one point--the hardwork you do just to support him/they as you shout your heart out. It is one of the reasons why you are a fan. Because even if it takes sweat and blood, money and lies, you will do just for him to know you're there. In person.

Another thing is, some people don't just understand the point of "tweeting" your feels on Twitter, though, it's a social networking site. People might see you or reflect you as an annoying fantard who keeps on tracking her idol every minute of every day. Or sometimes, flooding their timeline with your tweets for him about how much you love and adore him/getting a follow back. But let me tell you this, those people are obviously missing/missed their youth life. But beware, some people are really annoying when it comes to Twitter. The limitations are always set to be followed.

Next, along with tweeting, you yourself being opinionated is an issue for everybody. Most especially when a team protests about your idol, you will find yourself being a defender. Worse, if a Twitter fanpage of the another team sees your tweet, expect for a Twitter war. Kidding. In times like that, always look for the sides of both teams. It is not just about being a fangirl, it is also about seeing the truth and following the right way without being bias.

When your basketball player idol/crush/love suddenly has a girlfriend. Oh my gosh, this is too appropriate for me. Lol. Okay, I said I won't mention Kiefer alone but except for this one. Well actually, I became a fan already without him having a girlfriend that time. So when TD (I won't mention a name anymore) came, I became mad (really mad) and jealous. Yes, jealous. I thought to myself that maybe he won't allow us (his fangirls) to come closer to him anymore (though I haven't had a picture with him yet lol). Yes, what a lame idea. But as I get matured, I realized, why the heck would I allow myself to have business with his heart?! Of course, we always want the best for him/them but honestly, it is their decision already. If you don't see the girl as the "best", well, just make sure you would not bash the girl. 'Cause I'm sure, he gets hurt. Feelings are something we shouldn't interfere with.

All in all, being a basketball player fan is not just about those ball statistics, it is all about loving and trusting him. Because really, he is there because we are here. Love and support him when he shoots the ball just as much as when he misses it.

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Unfortunately His

We were like little kids running free in this world, telling to the whole world the feelings we have for each other. Being with you was the happiness I wouldn't trade for anyone or anything in this world. It was unbelievable that despite of the circumstances, you still chose to love me and treat me in a way anyone could ever ask for.

But unfortunately, you are meant to  share your world with other girl and meant to face life's struggles with her by your side.

It was a surreal moment when your lips met mine. When you utter the words that became magical to my ears. When you patiently waiting for me just to pick me up and get my bag just because you wouldn't want me to feel tired. We also became bestfriends, telling each other our opinion and not minding how ridiculous our embarrassing moments were.

But unfortunately, you are meant to wait, tell your thoughts and plan your future with her. 

You made me feel special every moment we shared, you made me feel that true love exists, you made me feel like I did worth a lot to someone that being without me had no direction, no path and no light. 

But unfortunately, you are meant to share special moments with her, love her unconditionally and make her feel worthy because of love. 

You allowed me to enter your world, you made me watch a basketball game live, I became a food tester of your specialties and there was even a time that you just did nothing within that rainy day but to cuddle with me. When you allowed me to see the place where you release out all your frustrations and problems in my life.

But unfortunately, you are meant to watch a game with her, make her your food tester and cuddle with her, share a cup of coffee that is also one of your specialties and though I was the first one to see your safe haven, the feeling wouldn't be the same anymore because I know the next time I'd visit, you are not with me to shout all my problems out. 

That time when you always tell me how much you loved me. Every once in a while within a day, even when I was still sleeping and you couldn't sleep, you would text me long messages telling me how much thankful you were that our worlds collided. When you always buy different type of flowers and send them to me almost everyday with no occasion at all.

But unfortunately, you are meant to say those words to her, text her in the middle of the night and buy her flowers and give it in an unexpected moment.

I once asked myself, why did we end up to each other when after all this time we weren't bound to last forever? But I also realized, maybe you were given even in just a period of timeto give me lessons and not be afraid to always open my heart for love. 

How I miss those moments. But no matter how hard I try, I know those things couldn't be back anymore. Those things are now nothing but memories. Yes, they are right. I must move on and just be happy for you. Even if I will tell how sorry I am, how much I regret my decisions way back, I know they would mean nothing now. I guess I will just have to accept it.

And yes. Here I am now. Unfortunately his.

The supergirl!

It's now time for Girl Crushes again! I am gonna introduce to all of you, my girl crush since PBB was first aired, none other than, Bianca Gonzalez! What I really adore about B is that she is very true to her words and she doesn't stop chasing her dreams. In fact, she loves travelling as well that she takes jump shots in every place. Who wouldn't love this lovely lady who is very simple yet very kind as well?

She also loves travelling that's why her Instagram is one of my favorites. Haha! I like it everytime she posts her jump shots in every place she has been. I hope I can make it too, someday!

I admire her also for being a supergirl wannabe, because she is a reminder for me to always explore more, go out of my comfort zone and see the bigger world and see what's in store for me. Bianca is not just a super girl for me, she is more than that--she is an inspiration for me and I know for all of us.

And I think, featuring her here is a right timing because she is about to tie the knot with one of the best basketball players in our time, JC Intal! I remember I was eating with my friends when they told me about the news that JC suprised B on the airport. I literally screamed! I was so happy for the both of them and I think it was the most romantic proposal ever!

She is also one of the reasons why I want to enter the world of Mass Communication when I get into college. When she had a short course in London, that also became one of my dreams.

I still remember my poem for her! Hihi.

But one thing Bianca taught me, is to be just be myself and never allow other people stop me from chasing my dreams. Everything has a right timing but great things will come if we will work for them. And I am indeed super excited for her wedding! I give my best wishes for you, B! You'll always be one of my inspirations. :)

Follow her!

Twitter/Instagram: @iamsuperbianca

Blog: iamsuperbianca.com 

Photo credits to: Mark Nicdao 

The Queen J

One night, as I was finding something interesting to read on Wattpad, "Mapapansin Kaya?" caught my attention. Maybe because the title already has that "catchy" characteristic that would make you read it. At first I thought, it has something to do with "Chinito" by Yeng Constantino because of the lyrics of the song. Haha! Yes, kinda stupid of me. So yup, I decided to give it a try, then I must say... The story exceeded my expectations. The author herself made me amazed so much. Not just because of her clean and very interesting way to tell a story, but because the characters were planned good enough.

Jonaxx on Wattpad, author of Mapapansin Kaya?, Heartless, No Perfect Prince, Until He Was Gone (my favorite!) and many more became one of my favorite authors ever. Or rather, she is now my ultimate favorite (naks). Why? Here are my 3 reasons:

1. The plot of her stories are really catchy; the ideas are new and would definitely make you learn something. The opinions of readers are always welcomed. To tell you honestly, she can make you cry in just few words. HONESTLY.

2. The characters are so to die for. Haha! Especially the guy characters, they can make you feel the "super kilig to the max" feeling. Actually, I already forgot my real crush in our school because of Elijah, really. I already forgot on how does it feel to have a REAL crush. Yep, that quick.

3. Last but not the least, she really loves writing. I don't know, 'cause someone just makes it for fame but for her, writing is really her passion. I guess that's why it makes her the queen.

Just the other day, I officially became one of the members of the Jonaxxstories Lovers. And WOW. The people are so friendly and very accommodating! You don't need to feel awkward at all because they will make you feel home.Whatever topic you want to say, or whatever you want to share, they are always welcome. With limitations, of course.

I'd also like to thank ate Shobe Pasamonte, Fedejik WP, Victoria Mae Cabahug, MissZelle Montefalco, Chichay Grey del Valle, Paulyn Joyce Tagum, Khey Cunanan and many more! Thank you for being so friendly and the rest of the members! I LOVE YOU ALL! 

To my favorite author, I hope this is the beginning of the success of your career. I'll always be here to support you and your works! I'll be forever hooked by them <3 

Jonaxx on Watty: wattpad.com/Jonaxx

Facebook: facebook.com/jonaxxWP?fref=ts

Blog: jonaxxstories.blogspot.com

Twitter: twitter.com/jonaxx_WP

Much love to the Queen J! <3 Credits to the owner of the photo! :)

One step closer

Hello, everyone! 

My readers (readers talaga?!) probably know that this blog of mine is really a dream come true for me. Not just because I already have something to put all the frustrations I have but because this was something that I wasn't expecting. But well, as they say, unplanned things or moments are usually the best ones. I could not agree more about that.

Just when the vacation was about to come, I was planning to do more (Rexona lang?! HAHAHA) and somehow go out of my comfort zone. Well not really in a manner of doing something that is so matured for my age. I just thought of doing something which I know I am also capable of, something which I know I will enjoy. And that is--writing my own story. YES, you have seen that right. And now, I must say I am really really enjoying of like being a storyteller.

I will tell more about it later. So yeah, why did it happen? I don't know as well. I have been reading Wattpad since I was in 7th Grade and stopped just last year also. But just last December, I thought of doing something rather than tweeting about my fangirl feels. So I used Wattpad as my alternative safe haven. I must say that the stories and writers nowadays are now more matured and seeing a lot of things in different perspectives that's why I enjoyed reading on the site again. 

I'm not bragging but my friends suggested me to try writing a story of my own. Since I don't really have a plan this vacation, I decided to finally try it. But the idea was already on my mind last year and I started writing it just months after. I'm not going to say that writing is really for me--but I must conclude that I love what I do and I do what I love. 

So now let's go to the story itself. The story focuses about dreams and love. I'm not going to give the whole overview but just think about these questions, "Does your love matter more than your dreams? Or your dreams matter more than your love?" Those questions best explain it. 

I'm giving it my 101% since I don't have so much to do this summer, well err, I have no plans yet. So I'm hoping not to let you down in case you read it or suggest it to your friends. 

SO, YUP! To everyone who wants to read something (I'm not gonna say it is really the BEST shot of mine, I don't want to disappoint) this summer. Try reading, "Which Matters More?" on Wattpad. :)

Here's the link: http://www.wattpad.com/story/13940981-which-matters-more

I know mostly writers hide their identity but hey! I wanna be at least proud of what I do. And I wanna let the people know who I am. HAHAHA. Conceited much? LOL.

I love you all! 

Miss Little Tall Girl Named,
 Bea <3 

My book cover!! Thanks to AJparisprincess! :D

The thing about pain

Have you ever experienced being hurt so badly? Like a stab in your chest and the memory just keeps on haunting you? What kind of pain have you felt? Was it something you felt when you saw your ultimate crush flirting with someone else? Or was it too much like you almost cried every night, something unbearable?

The thing is, pain is part of life. Like what they say, you can’t appreciate the good times without the bad ones. You won’t totally feel the essence of being happy without experiencing being sorrow.

But questions were on my mind, does time really heal the pain? Do memories can be forgotten?

One night, my childhood memories flashed back on my mind, even those times when I cried hard. Amazing how they were still vivid to me, when my knees were wounded badly, when my first baby tooth was removed, when someone blamed me for something I hadn’t done and you couldn’t anything about it, even just to explain yourself.

There were cases which made you traumatic that lead you on having a phobia on a thing. Maybe you became afraid of the heights because when you were still young, the roller coaster stopped for hours and unfortunately you were on the top most part? After all, we have something we are afraid of. That whenever we try to experience it again or if randomly you remember the incident, you find yourself too weak.

We do not sometimes become stronger. Truth is, some of us are already numb. Numb to that pain that we keep on experiencing. Numb enough to even care what people may say or think toward us. Numb enough to explain ourselves or let a tear stream down on our face.

Time really flies and changes happen. But reality is, time does not actually heal. It is not a kind of betadine or band aid that we just need to apply to cover the wound or let the bleeding stop. We don’t have the same experiences, but bottomline, we are responsible with our own lives—with our own thinking. The decision is always up to you if you will try your best to move on or let yourself still suffer from the pain of the past.

And no, memories—bad or good ones are most of the time the hardest to forget and the hardest to let go. Because it is true, no matter how hard we try to bury them, they will always remain.

Pain comes when you love, when you care, when you hope even when you dream. Almost comes with our everyday life. But it has always been up to you—if you will finally let yourself see the smiling sun after the devastating rain. And let me include what Haruki Murakami once said, “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”