Next Time I Fall In Love

Next time I fall in love, I will never let myself believe too much lies again. Those lies which captivated me at first that I felt like floating on a cloud nine when I heard them from you, making me believe how much you love and treasure me. Next thing I knew, everything turned out the other way around.

Next time I fall in love, I will never let my hopes get too high again. Those high hopes which I was thinking I’d be happy with my life, but they were the unspeakable pain I have ever felt. Thinking happy thoughts and dreams with full high hopes was the greatest mistake I made. Because all of those are just crap.

Next time I fall in love, I will never let my heart take over with me again. Sure, I should consider what my heart feels but it was just a huge mistake ignoring what my brain told me. Because I thought I’d be so much happier if I let my heart win. But it turned out, you are my most painful heartache.

Next time I fall in love, I will never let myself get what I don’t deserve. Did you even know?  Because I loved you, I didn’t mind at all what you were doing for me in return. You didn’t have the guts to surprise me with a dinner date yet I still managed to cook dinner for you. But what hurts the most is that I still loved you even with your imperfections. That’s how perfect you were for me.. before.

Next time I fall in love, I will never let myself be taken for granted again. I will know and matter my worth more than the love.

Next time I fall in love, I will never let myself give too much again. Giving it all to you was something I had done because that’s how much you mattered to me. But in return, all I felt was nothingness. This time, I will make sure to spare myself the love I give. As they say, love yourself first.

Next time I fall in love, I will never let myself feel this kind of pain again. I will take every step slowly now. I will be more cautious. I will not let my emotional feelings get over me. What you made me experience is enough reason for me to be smarter this time around.  

But you know what? Next time I fall in love, I’d still wish you are the guy I am going to fall in love with. 

P.S.: Another article again. Forgive my emotional feelings and being so damn dramatic.

Forever A Missing Piece

It has been years now but the frustrations in me are like souls which are still seeking for their justice. The sadness I had felt since that day is still the same as now. Nothing ever changed. Even my love for you is still like the first time we kissed, the first time we dated.

I couldn’t even picture myself without you. Somehow, it amazes me how I manage to be happy in front of many people yet honestly I am dying inside. Guess I am really that good in trying to hide the pain. The last words you said to me keep coming on coming back, I keep hearing them whenever I am alone in my bed. Whenever I visit our favourite place, whenever I cook your favourite food, whenever I watch our favourite movie. Does it sound like I am torturing myself? Yes. If it’s that’s the only way I could remember you, your happy face, your manly yet pleasing voice, your sweet gestures, your cuteness like a kid whenever you are asking a favour. I don’t mind at all.

No words could ever tell how much I miss you. I miss you not just because you’re out of my sight now but I miss you knowing you are completely gone. And I will never see my other half again while I am running in this crazy world. I will never feel that hug again whenever I feel like breaking down.

Wherever you are, I know you are happy. There is no pain now, love. You are now free out of all these crap in life. You are now living in a paradise, you deserve it. Because you are an angel, you have always been my guardian angel. Don’t worry about me, I will still keep my best to stay happy like what you asked me to. But I hope you know that happiness you gave me will never be replaced by anyone else.

People come and go in my life but you are the only who stays in my heart, my vision of you smiling in front of me will never fade. The other half of me and my heart have always been yours. Forever. I will always keep loving you.

They say happiness is a choice, but what if my choice is gone now? 

Random article which I wrote when I felt like dying because of a boring subject. LOL. 

Girl Crushes: Maxene & Saab Magalona

Since my stress week was finally over, I'd came up with an idea of having a blog post about the 2 of my girl crushes, Maxene Magalona & Saab Magalona. Yes, I don't have just boy crushes but I have girl crushes as well! And these two lovely ladies belong to the group.

You know, having girl crushes is fun because it means you follow them, you adore them, you love them as much as you do for the boy ones. But you know, Saab and Maxx are more than that. They are the ones I really loving following and stalking their accounts (shh!)! That's why they are very close to my heart.

I first knew about Maxene since she started acting on television, though, I am just 14 years old. She was one of those people I first followed on Twitter and since that day, I became her fan. She is a versatile actress, she acts naturally. She has this talent that will make you feel the real emotion she is trying to make you feel. But in real life, I love her very charming face and her very well pointed nose! Goodness. Every time she posts a photo on her Instagram account (especially when she is wearing her RayBans), really, it feels like I am seeing a goddess. I can't just wait to meet her in personal! 

She is also true to her words, very generous and caring. The way she posts on her Instagram account, she is family lady. She loves it when her whole family is around. She deserves true love and I'm glad that she finally found someone who will take care of her. I wish he really is the one!

On the other hand, Saab Magalona was also one of the people I first followed on Twitter. I remembered I saw a picture of her on Twitter and she was so gorgeous! No kidding. She is beautiful in her own unique way. She dresses simple yet elegant. What I love about Saab is she loves to blog and say what she really thinks. To be honest with you, she was one of the main reasons why I decided to have a blog of my own. Yes, she is one of my inspirations in life. 

I haven't met them yet, yes, but I believe sooner or later my wish will be finally granted. The fact that they studied in Ateneo makes me a real die hard fan. Because that university is my dream school for college. Haha! I thank Pia & Francis Magalona for bringing these 2 ladies in this world. They will be my forever girl crushes! <3 

Follow them and see for yourself how beautiful they are! 

Maxene's Twitter and Instagram account: @maxenemagalona

Saab's Twitter and Instagram account: @saabmagalona

You can also visit Saab's blog and actually win one of her giveaways (she loves having one): spellsaab.com 

Oh, I just love my girl crushes. Will tell you soon about them! (Yes, I have a lot).

(Credits to photo owners!)

Miss Little Tall Girl Named, 

Bea 

Life is fun!

Okay, I know I just said on my last post that I was going to be a busy bee for my 3rd quarter exams and in any case you want to know and I'd like to emphasize, I am (weh) reviewing right now for my last day of heaven tomorrow (see the sarcasm there, huh?) but unfortunately I found myself browsing on my Twitter page and realized some random things which are, obviously, I wanna share through my blog. 

But before anything else, this is not actually a very serious matter, it is just (like what I mentioned) some realizations in life. Well, now you're on my page, why not try reading this one? 

As a teenager, we are facing a lot of problems. Like yeah, school stuff, parents, family, friends and if you are unlucky, having a love life. I am not bitter, first and foremost. But don't you think having a boyfriend just sometimes complicate your life? Well, in my opinion. It is not a matter of fact, anyway. That is another story which I would mind talking about. 

ANYWAY, these past few days, I noticed that some of my friends are having a hard time moving on with their lives. But before we go with that, I am not going to preach here and act like Ms. Know It All. After all, there's no big deal saying what you think and feel, right? Though, limitations should always be there. Things about moving on, being happy and being contented are now issues. Well, they have always been. What suprises me is that, we, teenagers think and overthink about them a lot. 

I am also a teenager and faces many trials in life. There comes a time when I literally asked myself, 'why do I have to experience this when in fact I am just a teenager girl/a high school girl and I AM NOT THAT MATURED enough yet to face such chaos?' But, everything happens for a reason, as we always say. 

Moving on in the first place is actually a huge issue in one's life when you go deeper. Like really, moving on is NOT DONE overnight and will never be. Unless the situation hasn't given you that trouble too much. But that is not the issue. If a situation or memory has made you feel a lot, you would always find yourself having hard time moving forward with your life. Why so? Because memories are not forgotten. True enough. There will always be a time when somebody leaves you (like they always say, people come and go) but the experiences you've shared together will always be permanent. Scars. 

I don't know why being happy is now a problem. And, I mean it. As I say to myself every time I find a hard time being happy with my life, 'happiness is a choice'. You will never experience it if you keep on looking back. You will never experience it if you let the ghost in your past manipulate you and your feelings. Yes, we are humans. We get tired and hurt. But, like the storm, it is not forever. There will always be another day with the sun smiling brightly at you. NOW, it is your choice whether to greet him back with a smile on your face.

Being contented has always been an issue ever since. Like when you were a little kid and you kept on comparing yourself with other people. I would say, this is also my huge problem because sometimes I wanted myself to have more, feel more and do more. But remember this, being contented always comes with being happy and thankful. Learn them first. Then you will contented in any way. 

I don't know if this will make you feel better. I don't know if this will make your life change. But remember, it's now or never. Be miserable or be happy. You always get to choose. Sorry, I just had to write what my head tells me to do. :) 

We don't get the "happiness" we want in a snap. But we always have a choice to make everything right.

Miss Little Tall Girl Named, 
Bea

Books as blessings

Hi, 2014! Hello, people!

Yes, my blog deserves a greeting like that because.. dude, another year has passed! Geez. Days now are getting so much faster than they were before. Anyway, another year means not totally a clean slate but a fresh start. To be honest, I was really planning to change my bad habits into good ones but I’ve realized I’ve been trying that ever since and well.. I still keep on coming back to those not so good habits of mine. That’s why I decided just to not lose myself on track. Anyway, the bad habits I talk about are not really that bad like what you are thinking. Haha. They are just the normal teenagers’ probs. LOL.

This blog post is not entirely about the new year. Thus, I want to share with all of you the books I’ve received last holidays. To everyone who’s been a part of my life, they know how obsessed I am (hey, they call me in that way!) when it comes to books. I also realized that because nowadays I keep reading books and just putting internet aside. That’s when I knew to myself that I changed my attitude a little bit when it comes to my books. A good thing, eh?

Here it goes, the first one was 548 heartbeats given to me by a great friend, Eliza.

Yes, reading Summit Books (Pop Fiction) is included in the obsession I mentioned earlier. I know you’d understand me because most of the books they are selling are for teenagers like me. So, why not let myself feel kilig just this time? Like, I don’t have a boyfriend anyway. :P The story suits for every high school girl (with or without a boyf) because think about this.. Who doesn’t have a crush? Who haven’t had a crush? Well, the answers say it all. The story or the book may be cliché but whatever, I still enjoyed reading it.

The next one is The Lovely Bones which my best friend Gail bought for me because I REQUESTED FOR IT. Yeah, what a lucky biatch I am! *winks*

I personally requested for it because I was so curious about the story. Though, it has a movie version already, ever since I have always been a fan of the book version. The story itself made me feel how important my life is. True. The story deals about situations regarding with your family, friends and everyone who surrounds you. I haven’t watched the movie yet and I’m so looking forward to it.

My kris kringle (for Christmas party) asked my friends in our room which book to buy for me. And the day came, he bought me “For Hire: A Damn Good Kisser”. Yuppie, another Pop Fiction book again. I just read the book now and I don’t know if the ending was really meant to be in that way because I was in the mood “asking for more”. Obviously, I read in its book version. BUT, the story has actually a lot of humor and spice. If you want to still feel kilig but somehow in a different way, try reading this one.

I’ve also gotten the latest installment of Diary of A Wimpy Kid: The Hard Luck. Yes! It feels like, “Finallyyyy!!!” When my ate (cousin) was about to buy a gift for me (she told me she was actually planning to buy me a dress) but I told her it would be much better if she’d buy the book for me. And luckily, she did. She and her boyfriend told me that it was the last piece already at Fully Booked Glorietta. And yes, I was a lucky biatch again. Hahaha!

Like every Diary of a Wimpy Kid I’ve read, it got me laughing so hard to the point that I looked like a girl who totally find the book so interesting. It also became my stress reliever that time. The books pretty much focused about friendship which was accurate in that moment. Until now. It was definitely worth the money! <3

If you’re going to ask me if they are worth my time and money (though I wasn’t the one who bought them), yes they are. You see, they are really my personal choices and I thankmy friends and family who spent their money just to give me satisfaction by giving me these books. Hey, I am also grateful for all the stuff they've given me! But I will be more honest, books always get me. ;) 

I promise to let you know which book I am reading for the moment! <3 But for now, wish me luck for my 3^rd grading exams. Besos! 

Loving life! <3

It's Christmas time... Wait what?! It's Christmas?! Yes yes, I also feel that way. It's like I just slept for a night and then woah, it's Christmas already. Am I having too much fun (because they say time flies when you're happy) or just days are getting pretty faster this time? 

This year has been full of ups and downs (okay this is not yet a new year post), like my maturity got evolved. Kidding aside. I also proved the saying which is the more number you get in your age, the more problems you encounter. But after all, I'm happy. Yes I know, it's so easy to say but I really am. The problems I've had made me appreciate life the way I did before. They made me realize a lot of things. Made me realize the true meaning of life. Well, in the way that perspective changed. The experiences I've encountered are really my weapons in the future. They taught me something. 

At the same time, I also feel blessed for all the gifts and blessings I've had. My new found friends, the opportunities which I wasn't expecting even in my wildest dreams. Also, this blog which made my comforter and best friend as well! Thank you for still reading this! I am expecting myself to update this a lot next year! ;) 

More than the material things, let's not forget the true meaning of the season. More than receiving, let's give. Let's not forget that Christmas is about sharing all your blessings to others. 

Have a Merriest Christmas!!! Enjoy the day with your loved ones! Don't forget to get fat. Hahaha! Love you all! Thank You, Jesus Christ! <3 

Trying hard? Try harder!

Maybe some teenagers nowadays experience this so-called "discrimination" especially in school. There are times that people might say you're a trying hard gal whenever you try your best to get a high grade or look more beautiful. Yup, it feels like they're also saying they are only the ones who can get higher grades or look prettier. Though, there are some situations that trying hard can be a bad thing. For instance, your family is not that so rich and the budget just suits for your family and you want to be in the trend to the point that you're spending too much money, that's a no-no. Everyone must also know her limitations. 

Here are some tips on how not to lose confidence and trust on oneself:

1. "Try and try until you succeed." 

This may sound cliché but it is really true. Trying and failing over and over again is not a bad thing after all. Like what Michael Jordan said, after so many trials and failures, they became his weapons to finally succeed. 

2. Believe in what you can do and most especially, believe in yourself. 

If there's one person who knows you 101%, it's none other than yourself. Yup, you know yourself better than anybody else even your parents. Don't let opinions (specifically the bad criticism) fall you down. Don't let other people ruin your dreams. Believe and it's really true--you will achieve more than you imagine. 

3. Don't live up to other people's expectations 

This is actually a tough issue especially between a child and a parent. Of course, your parents, your family want the best for you and for your future. But the last say, the last choice (sometimes) is in your hands and mind. There is no problem when your mama wants you to become this, achieve that, visit this, have this and that but always remember to just go with the flow and do your obligation--to study well and have fun. Your parents maybe tough sometimes but I believe their support and understanding will always be there. Always remember too that there are some things which are not already in our control. Though, you must also consider some expectations toward you but don't feel so bad if that didn't happen because if one thing is really meant for you, no doubt, it would be completely yours. 

4. Have trust, faith and patience. 

Achieving something especially if it's big will not happen in just a snap. When you're trying, always remember to have these three: trust, faith and patience. Not just for yourself but also to the people who surround you. There will be a lot of times that you will feel bad towards yourself, feels like giving up but everything that happens is for you to learn a lesson which will be your weapon in the future. 

5. Pray 

The simple yet most important thing to do--to pray. Ask for His guidance, surrender to Him everything that you do. God's power and greatness are more powerful than any problems, trials and obstacles you've encountered and will be encountering. 

Give your best. But if your best wasn't good enough, at least you did something. Rather than sitting there and waiting for nothing.